I have put off starting this blog for a long time despite feeling like it was something I really needed because I had, still have, a dilemma. I am not Matti's mother, but the girlfriend of his father, and mother to his siblings, so should I write about him here? On the other hand I am here in Turkey so that Ville and Matti can see each other every week. And so from Thursday to Sunday he is very much part of the action here. I would never use mother language about myself to Matti but we do describe all the children as ours to anyone who asks us. And here in Turkey people often do! This used to cause me great annoyance at times, especially as the questions were often put to Matti as a Turkish speaker. He is our brown eyed boy in an otherwise blue eyed family and people here are not hesitant about asking why.

Being an extra person in a child´s life can be complicated but when I am with Matti it is very simple. I could not possibly treat him differently from the others.  Matti clambers over me all the time and I love it. We met when he was 4 and had no common language and I know that soon he won't remember a time before me or before speaking English. I never ever consider persuading Ville that we should move to an easier country, even on hard days, because I have fallen in love with Matti.

Do I have the right to blog about Matti? Part of me knows that its not a perfect idea but just needs to talk anyway.....I hope it will turn out ok. So if I write less about Matti or am a little more careful in my posts you understand why.

During the first week that I spent with Matti.