After a day of sunshine wind is now banging on the doors. These apartments are built for the summer when the Island population increases tenfold. The huge windows turn to paper in this weather. Anton and Neve are asleep. After a day of relaying between their needs the absence of their sounds is loud. And lovely. Anton is pink from the sun making his face more voluptuous than ever. And I am alone, which is very rare indeed. Ville is on a plane returning from a job interview in Sweden. I think he will wait at the airport for the first boat back to us, to share the news. We are both exhausted from the struggle to make ends somehow come close to meeting and this opportunity has made us both hope for an easier life. I will know in the morning.

Spending the last couple of days alone with the kiddos has brought home how it will feel if Ville goes back to working in an office. Since  he quit working for Amnesty International in Turkey when Anton was tiny, he has been freelancing and studying from home. Though he can't stop and play, he is always around and I haven't had to work out how to be independent here. And I really should have done by now.


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